Entries Tagged 'humour' ↓

Does anyone have a good 404 Error page?

Did you know that 404 error pages are the most commonly visited webpages on the internet, and yet are usually the ones with least effort.

Here are my feeble attempts:

Sri Chinmoy self improvement blog 404 page

Tejvan.co.uk error page

The Wrong Arm of the Law is one of the funniest films I’ve seen in quite a while. It is beautifully scripted, classic British comedy. Their are strong influences of the Ealing comedies with a touch of Pythonesque humour. The characterizations are brilliant and the acting top notch.

The traditional British London crime mobs are done over by some visiting Australian criminals (pretending to be cops) Eventually, the British criminals get so exasperated they arrange to do a deal with the Scotland Yard to help catch the ‘rogue’ mob.

The cast list involves some of the great names in British film. Peter Sellers is on top form, alternating between a high class French ‘haute couteur’ salesman and a Cockney gangster leader.

There is a marvellous scene with the aggrieved criminals of London holding a forum where they air their grievances in the manner of a democratic trades union meeting. “It’s simply unethical that this mob is acting in a very underhand manner are disrupting the orderly function of crime in London, Comrades I move to a vote that we act now to stamp out this undignified behaviour.”

The script is scintillating with no shortage of irony, sarcasm, humour and wit. It’s a real delight – I was laughing all the way through.

If you like this kind of comedy, you will also enjoy

The Lavender Hill Mob and The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp

Cast Include:
Peter Sellers (Pearly Gates);
Lionel Jeffries (Inspector Fred ‘Nosey’ Parker);
Bernard Cribbins (Nervous O’Toole);
Davy Kaye (Trainer King);
Nanette Newman (Valerie)
John Le Mesurier … Assistant Commissioner
Wrong Arm of The law

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Despite losing 2-1 to a last minute penalty, Arsenal fans were united in their view that the referee made the correct view in awarding the debatable last minute penalty. As one Arsenal fan says:

“Well from where I was, it looked like there was no contact and Ronaldo just took a dive. But, you’ve got to remember I was at the back of the terraces and from there it is almost impossible to make a fair and accurate reflection on the decision. Fortunately, the referee was in a much better position than me; we’re pretty lucky to have such experienced referees in the premier league.”

The game was played in general good spirits with both managers praising the role of the referee. As the losing Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger said You’ve got to hand it to the referee – “He never took his eyes off the game for a moment. There were a few critical decision, but we all feel he made them with as much care, neutrality and balance as is humanely possible. You don’t really mind losing when you see refereeing of that kind of quality. It’s what makes football ‘the beautiful game’ really.

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These word explanations are from: The Uxbridge English Dictionary Seventeenth Edition (approx) Completely revived As heard on “I’m sorry I haven’t a clue.”

English words and their Real meaning:

• Jacobites – Micheal Jacksons range of snacks
• Shamrock – Useless tribute band
• Moustache – Got to run quick
• Hacksaw – Tabloid report
• Cinquecento – A hundred year old Chinaman
• Cocoa Bean – An ex clown
• Coiffeur – A pretentious drinker
• Dodo – A repeat of the Simpsons.

And there’s more. If you want more of the same, there is a whole post of Uxbridge English dictionary here

IF TOMMY COOPER WERE ALIVE TODAY……

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, “That’s Aboriginal.”

This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said “Ten pin?” I said, “No, permanent.”

I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

I went to the local video shop and I said “Can I borrow Batman Forever?” He said, “No, you’ll have to bring it back tomorrow”

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said “Analogue.” I said “No, just a watch.”

I went into a shop and I said, “Can someone sell me a kettle.” The bloke said “Kenwood” I said, “Where is he then?”

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He’s bisatchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him “I’m frightened of lapels.” He said, “You’ve got cholera.”

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, it’s P something T something R.

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Another great clip from Monty Python. A brilliant version of the classic Yorkshireman’s sketch.

“Don’t be to be critical Jeeves, but, I think we can dispense with the sir, at the end of every line.”

“Very Good Sir”

A few weeks back we had a gathering in London, where a few friends took part in some humorous skits. Premamrita was marvellous as Tommy Cooper. My contribution was to take part in Monty Python’s silly walks.

“That’s it is it? It’s not particularly silly is it?”

“You see Mr Puddy there’s a very real problem of finance…”

Man: I think it was, “Blessed are the cheesemakers”!

Gregory’s wife: What’s so special about the cheesemakers?

Gregory: Well, obviously it’s not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other 999 follow women.

Groucho Marx

# Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

# Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

# Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

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