Funny Meanings of Words

These word explanations are from: The Uxbridge English Dictionary Seventeenth Edition (approx) Completely revived As heard on “I’m sorry I haven’t a clue.

English words and their Real meaning:

  • Jacobites – Micheal Jacksons range of snacks
  • Shamrock – Useless tribute band
  • Moustache – Got to run quick
  • Hacksaw – Tabloid report
  • Cinquecento – A hundred year old Chinaman
  • Cocoa Bean – An ex clown
  • Coiffeur – A pretentious drinker
  • Dodo – A repeat of the Simpsons.

And there’s more. If you want more of the same, there is a whole post of Uxbridge English dictionary here

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Statistical Poetry

There was me thinking checking your stats was a bad habit, waste of time and inefficient use ofresources. But, actually, it is a way to write poetry! see: Keyword Haiku So here is the beginning of my poetic adventure. (I once wrote a poem, but, it was something about a computer being good because it was er.. not made out of wood) so as you can see my keyword statistics are far better at generating poetry than me.

from: tejvan.co.uk/

never give up poems
shambhu sri
never give up poem
tejvan’s blog
poems never give up
sri chinmoy biography
poems never give up
poem never give up

ministry of silly walks
jeeves and wooster theme music

how does the yogi mahasamadhi
poems about giving up
poems about never giving up

ode to joy Bernstein
pictures of the spirit leaving the body at death
2007 national hill climb

who invented crosswords co uk
give up poetry

hill climb training
winter in oxford

kyudo blogs
how to achieve mahasamadhi
picture of a lighthouse

BTW the order of these keyword searches remains exactly the same as it appeared in stats, but some search results were omitted)

Statistics from Richardpettinger.com

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Random Links for the Weekend

sunset

Some inspiring, some not so inspiring.

The inspiring

Effective ways to get out of a negative mindset – an article by Tejvan for Sri Chinmoy Inspiration self improvement blog

Video Podcast of friend Stephen Hopson. Stephen is deaf from birth and makes his living as a motivational speaker. He has a blog Adversity University with some interesting articles.

Learning to Live by Sumangali

Life Voices – new blog of Kedar

Bob Dylan recites the Lock and Key poem by Sri Chinmoy at Priyadarshan.org

Only slightly less inspiring.

Shardul shows his age with a folk video from the 1950s (interestingly I saw an excellent film about Woodie Guthrie recently )

Not Necessarily Inspiring at All

A good reason to be vegetarian

Tommy Cooper Jokes

The Difference between Economists and non Economists at the Economics Essay blog

Music I am Listening to

  • Mozart’s Requiem
  • Arthada and Friends

Videos I am Watching

  • Jeeves & Wooster – The complete Series. Bertie Wooster is magnificent, Jeeves is absolutely superb, but, why do all the other characters have to be so irritating?
  • The Maggie – Ealing Comedy Classic

What I’m Dreaming of

Cycling heaven – Cycling Tubes to go around cities (link coming soon)

What I am doing too much of

Checking email

What I should be doing more of

Singing Spiritual Songs

Picture courtesy of Unmesh Swanson, Sri Chinmoy Centre Galleries

New Stumble account: http://tejvan.stumbleupon.com

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Ave Maria

I have heard many versions of Ave Maria, but, I really like this one. The singing is soulful and humble. Sometimes singers give real virtuoso performances, but, this version sticks to the spiritual essence of the song.
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Jokes in Honour of Tommy Cooper

IF TOMMY COOPER WERE ALIVE TODAY……

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, “That’s Aboriginal.”

This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said “Ten pin?” I said, “No, permanent.”

I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

I went to the local video shop and I said “Can I borrow Batman Forever?” He said, “No, you’ll have to bring it back tomorrow”

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said “Analogue.” I said “No, just a watch.”

I went into a shop and I said, “Can someone sell me a kettle.” The bloke said “Kenwood” I said, “Where is he then?”

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He’s bisatchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him “I’m frightened of lapels.” He said, “You’ve got cholera.”

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, it’s P something T something R.

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Gregorian Chants

I love Gregorian Chants. This is a great collection of meditative Gregorian Chants. I’ve saved it to my blog for ease of finding.

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The World’s Largest Pencil Finds a New Home

This August a team of builders, under the direction of Ashrita Furman, built the world’s largest pencil. Measuring 76 feet, the pencil was built to maintain the exact proportions of a standard pencil. You can read about the pencil’s building here

The Guiness Record Breaking pencil was built to honour Sri Chinmoy’s 76th birthday

The Pencil has been lying in Jamaica, Queens, but has now found a home at a museum in St Louis.

The pencil is so large it showed up on satellite screens, prompting a visit by local police officers; they were relieved to find it was a giant pencil, rather than a missile!

Bob Cassilly, the founder of the St Louis City Museum said he was happy to take the unusual pencil. He said: “We’re sort of like opportunists and we don’t have a plan, the museum just grows organically by whatever goes our way.”

The pencil had to be cut in half to be transported

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