Spike Milligan Quotes

Spike Milligan. I'm a great fan of Spike Milligan his humour is delightfully irrelevant, sarcastic and surreal. In many ways a precursor to Monty Python.

But he was always very unique, a one off.

Amongst his many fans was Prince Charles who was particularly fond of the comedy series the Goons. (However in typical Spike fashion he gave a memorable put down to Charles at one comedy event. Despite causing a small scandal Milligan's respones was to fax Prince Charles saying " I suppose a knighthood is out of the question?)

Throughout his life he suffered from several nervous breakdowns and general depression, this was a perhaps an influence on some of his "black humour"

A joke by Spike Milligan from the Goons was voted "funniest joke in the world"

Spike Milligan

Spike Milligan Quotes

I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky; I left my shoes and socks there - I wonder if they're dry?.

Spike Milligan

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Spike Milligan

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Spike Milligan

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Spike Milligan

I told you I was ill.

Spike Milligan (Epitaph he chose)

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form.

Spike Milligan (on seeking permission to celebrate 80th birthday with 12,000 ft skydive)

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Spike Milligan

On the Ning Nang Nong

Where the Cows go Bong!

And the Monkeys all say Boo!

There's a Nong Nang Ning

Where the trees go Ping!

And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo.

On the Nong Ning Nang

All the mice go Clang!

And you just can't catch 'em when they do!

Spike Milligan

The British Army Works like this - If you hang a man and he dies, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.

Spike Milligan

Well, we can't stand around here doing nothing, people will think we're workmen.

Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Spike Milligan

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Spike Milligan

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to wear ear plugs.

Spike Milligan

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

Spike Milligan

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Spike Milligan

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Spike Milligan

• Short Funny Poems of Spike Milligan

Best of Spike Milligan Video Clips